how should you use the enneagram?
“We’re all rough drafts of the people we’re becoming.” — Bob Goff
The Enneagram is everywhere right now, showing up during conversations, at conferences, and in coffee shops. While I enjoy the Enneagram and the insights it reveals about human nature, I have to be careful not to misuse it.
How? By primarily seeing it as a way to study, obsess over, and act out of my type. Deep down, I think many of us love the Enneagram not so much because it helps us grow, but more because it lets us talk about our favorite thing: me!
Most Enneagram resources harness that self-focus and make it their goal for you to become the healthiest version of your type. That's not a bad goal, but I don't think it's the best one. Why? Because if you only respond as your type, it'll limit you socially and relationally, and unknowingly damage the people around you. So often even the healthiest version of your type is an unwise response to a situation.
The Enneagram isn't a divine directive to act a certain way (*shrug* "But I'm a ___, that's just who I am...), but should serve as a personality toolbox, giving you nine ways to approach any situation. I naturally approach life like a 7, but as I've grown, I've learned that knowing you have a strength is not enough; you have to learn when to use it and when to turn it off.
The Enneagram is most useful when you understand that your natural type has limitations, and bounce to a different type and act through those strengths. So, as I go through the events of life I try to ask myself:
What type would be the wisest response here?
Maybe a 2? Or a 6? Or a 9? Then I think about a friend or two who is that type: how could using their personality strengths lead to a better outcome for everyone involved here? That's not being fake, it's being wise.
This may sound crazy to some, but it models who Jesus was. Jesus didn't have an Enneagram type because He embodied all of them. In His perfect wisdom, Jesus always knew how to approach every situation and what type to be. Jesus was:
The reforming 1, who pushed the Jewish people out of their law-based performance into this crazy thing called grace.
The helping 2, who extended love, acceptance, and mercy to the outcasts, isolated, and “sinners” in His culture.
The achieving 3, who persevered through long days of teaching, healing, and caring for hundreds and thousands of people.
The individualist 4, who used parables, similes, and subtle sarcasm to transform the ordinary moments of life into teachings with soul-searching beauty.
The investigating 5, who spend so much time in solitude, studying the Scriptures and communing with His Father.
The loyal 6, who built deep relationships with his disciples, never giving up on them, even when they constantly let Him down.
The enthusiastic 7, who never turned down a party, and loved meeting and interacting with new people every day.
The challenging 8, who kept confronting the Pharisee’s legalism and abuses of power until it eventually cost Him His life.
The peacemaking 9, who befriended people from all over the social, ethnic, and political spectrum, and brought them together in one harmonious group.
Jesus responded to every situation He faced with incredible wisdom and tact. He didn't push His pre-selected strengths onto the people around Him but loved His neighbors so much that He became what they each needed. Jesus was the culmination of all of the Enneagram types, and He used His gifts to glorify God and serve His community.
Here’s the takeaway: the goal of personal growth isn't to become the healthiest version of your Enneagram type, but rather to grow up into the fullness of Christ, knowing how to respond to every situation in life with wisdom and grace.
