how to answer the “what if?” questions of life


One of the hardest parts of being young is not knowing how life will turn out. I see so many young people struggle with the "what if" questions of life:

  • What if I never get married?

  • What if I'm never successful?

  • What if I never have kids?

  • What if I never make enough money to retire?

Questions like these feed off the uncertainty of being young, creating all kinds of fear and anxiety around the future. The problem, though, is that most of them will take years and decades to answer. 

So, rather than struggling with fear and anxiety for the rest of your life, here's my suggestion: Go ahead and assume that you won't get the thing you're anxious about (marriage, kids, dream job, etc). Then, figure out how you could live a great life even in that situation. For example...

  • If I never get married, then I'll move to a dangerous neighborhood and spend my life investing in the community. Or I'll create a home for special needs people and work to help them thrive. 

  • If I never make it as a writer, then I'll become a high school history teacher and invest in young men by coaching basketball. Or I'll start another service business to employ people who need help rebuilding their lives.  

  • If I never have kids, then I'll create an after-school reading program at an under-performing school. Or I'll start a ministry with college guys to help them build maturity and wisdom. 

  • If I don't have enough money to retire in the US, then I'll move to Uganda and help disciple local pastors. Or I'll buy a small plot of wilderness in the PNW and build an off-grid cabin. 

I know I'm a little crazy, but all of these potential "failed" lives sound awesome to me! I’m not trying to avoid marriage, success, or wealth, but working through both sides of “what if” questions gives me a lot of peace: I can live a meaningful life regardless of how my life ends up.

If you're struggling with the uncertainties of life right now, you've got to let go of trying to force your plan for a "successful" life onto God, and instead, offer up every part of your life to Him as a living sacrifice. Peace and contentment aren’t found through getting everything you've ever dreamed of, but rather by walking with God and trusting His plan.

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